Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Another year later...

Hmmm??? What a difference a year can make.  I'm fatter today.  Still unhappy in certain areas, but happier in others. 

Since my last post I've not spoken to my mother.  She hasn't called and I'm certainly not calling her.  She has sent two texts:

One on Dec 18th telling me the boys Christmas gifts were being delivered. arrived.  God forbid her only two grandchildren get their own gifts.  They were sitting so lovingly on the porch when we arrived home.  Straight from card...just the beautiful brown boxes they were packed in.  The TWELVE batteries that were needed were also not included.  WTF???

The second text today.  Just saying "Happy Birthday, have a great day."  I suppose it's nice that she is thinking of me....I just wish she knew how to do it in a way that didn't severely piss me off.  She did sent the boys each Valentine's Cards with $5 in them.  Then over the weekend my oldest son received an Easter card.  Nothing for my youngest (insert me being pissed off). could have got lost in the mail, but really??? 

Anyway.....things are just happier for me when she isn't involved.  Just like with this post...old, harsh feelings emerge and it puts a damper on an otherwise happy day.  MY BIRTHDAY!!!

I'm choosing to focus on the happy stuff from here on out.  It's a process. 

Here is to starting OPERATION: 35....someday I'll celebrate OPERATION: Complete....until then....

Friday, March 30, 2012

The MOTHER of all M-effers....and I got her!

Remember the other day when I said I needed to figure out the crappy situation with my mother?  Well, I'm fairly certain it's been figured out for me.  I swear she is THE only person in the world that can make a shitty day more shittier.

So...long story short....she forgot (or at least did not acknowledge) my two son's (ages 4 & 8) birthday's yet again earlier this year.  So...I've been ignoring her ever since because frankly I was sick and fucking tired of it.  So, I deleted her as a FB friends because she didn't even use FB this year to say anything.  Then when she realized she emailed me wondering what happened to my page because she couldn't find me.  Didn't ask me if anything was wrong because God forbid HER do anything wrong.  When I never responded she then called me about two weeks later.  Then again about two weeks later....and then yet again yesterday on my brthday.  In the past three months she has tried to get in contact with me....what???  4 times....which is honestly 4 times more times than she has in the past two years combined....but whatever. 

When yesterday was my birthday and I didn't call her back....I think she may have finally got the drift? aunt sent a long email today with updates on their dad (my grandpa) and about his house we are trying to update to be sold and the duplex that we are moving him into, yadda yadda yadda.   That bitch (my mother) had the nerve to write back a one line response saying "Well it looks like I've been ex-communicated from the family, so just let me know where to write the check".  No you SELFISH ASSHOLE....just I (your daughter) have "ex-communicated" you....not everyone else....BUT she always has to throw the pity-party.  Jerk.

Did I mention that my mother left me in IL to live by myself at the age of 17 for a job offer in FL.  Not that I fully blame her, it was a good opportunity, but she never looked back once after she left with my step-dad and their son (who is now almost 28 and still mooching off them) 17 I was left to fend for myself and throughout the last 16 years I can probably count on just my fingers (maybe a few toes) the times she has called me just to see what I was doing.  Usually, her phone calls were to talk about some Alaskan cruise, or Bahamas diving trip they spent a shit ton of money on OR don't even get me started on her two Cairn Terriers (you know the ones JUST like Toto!!!) <insert me trying to give a shit> that she makes fucking birthday cakes for and treats WAY better than she ever thought about treating me or my family.  Anyway....she not EVER would just call to say hey we would like to fly up to IL and see you and the boys for a few days?  She has forgot MANY of my birthdays, has never acknowleged even one of my husbands and even several of my son's birthdays.  I almost always have to be the one who calls her, and she has even traveled to IL on business and not made plans to stop through and see us.

So...when I got that email today of her selfish, self absorbed, asshole self.....I let her have it.  I replied:

Really?  Really!!!  YOU'VE been ex-communicated from the family?  I'm not sure I'm surprised by this because you are in fact the most selfish person I know.  Honestly I was just sitting here writing you a heartfelt letter and working on a polite way of trying to communicate with you and somehow get through your head how it has felt all the times Rich, the boys, and I have been "ex-communicated" by YOU.  How about I just go back to the way I was feeling on December 18th, 2011 and January 28th, 2012 when your ONLY grandson's birthdays had came and went without any form of communication from their GRANDMOTHER by just saying FUCK OFF.  That's what I felt like saying then, but I stopped myself.   
Thanks for making it so easy on me today!!! I'll stop wasting my time with my heartfelt letter.  Delete!!!!!!

Well....that's that.  I guess it's already been figured out for me?

Oh who the hell am I kidding....

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Day 1

Well, what can I say?  My grandmother passed away yesterday....yes on my birthday, but believe it or's not a sad thing.  She had a stroke 4.5 years ago and that is really when I really feel I "lost" her.  So, last night she got to reunite with my dad who passed away in 1992 and I know she has missed him very very in a way....I think it being my birthday was the perfect day. 

I ordered my Breville 700-Watt Compact Juice Fountain and I'm anticipating it's arrival.

Until then....